You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
