That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
These tits shall not be calmed
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