I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
