If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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