Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
