i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
