is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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