I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
