Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
how drunk are you?
Several
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
