Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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