You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
only you would photoshop your dick
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
