A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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