she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
