Duck Duck Cougar?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
