i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
