Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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