dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I understand Curling. That high.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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