you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
