She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
