So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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