i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
