forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize