Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
