so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She bit a glass in half.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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