Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
