One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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