i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All the doctor said was why
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
