I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Dear god my vagina.
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