Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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