And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
