She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
