So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Randomize