hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
