That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
