saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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