we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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