Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
