I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
