wakey wakey hands off snakey
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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