I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
