I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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