There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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