Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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