His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
