Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
