We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
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drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
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I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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