did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
