I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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