I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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