I'm lost and stupid without you.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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