Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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