Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize