we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
