Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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