How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
